I know that some Christian families have very strong convictions about celebrating a so-called “pagan” holiday. I do not. I have always enjoyed Halloween and do not personally associate it with anything evil despite what some may say.
As I mentioned in my last post (and will probably mention in many future posts), I am currently reading Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. A friend of mine recommended it a few years ago but at the time my munchkin was just a baby so I didn’t feel the need to read parenting books unless they were about nursing or sleeping. But now my munchkin is three. He has his own ideas about what he should/should not be doing at any given moment during the day and is very vocal (and quite convincing) when he expresses these opinions. A few weeks back, he decided that he was not going to preschool...anymore! And he must have decided that if we MADE him go to preschool he was going to find his own way of paying us back...with dirty laundry. It started out slowly with a few tears and an occasional pants wetting but quickly crescendoed to a 20 minute face-off between the two of us at morning drop-off where I tried every “good parenting” trick I could think of until I finally caved in and bribed him with a new set of Legos. I drove home in tears thinking surely I had ruined my child FOREVER. Thankfully, one of my best friends happened to be staying with us for the week (which my very wise mother later pointed out could probably explain his out-of-nowhere resistance to go to preschool while mommy was having fun at the beach with her bestie) and when I came home hysterical she gifted me some very strong words of encouragement. She reminded me that there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child...we all need God’s grace! Later that day, while I was getting a heavenly massage that my bestie treated me to, I remembered the Graced Based Parenting book and decided that maybe it was time to add some new weapons to my “good parenting” arsenal. So I went home and ordered it along with a few of the other “people who bought this also bought...” books that I’d heard about from friends and parenting experts.
By the time all of my new parenting books arrived, my munchkin was back to his preschool-loving self whom I often refer to as the “morning welcoming crew” because he insists on hugging his friends just as a parent is trying to tie their shoe or finish putting their hair in a ponytail. Not feeling as desperate for parenting advice, I opened the box of parenting books and started to wonder if this Grace Based Parenting book was going to be another fluffy book that didn’t give me any practical advice or application. But my doubts were quickly answered. By page 9 I was searching for my highlighter:
“The real test of a parenting model is how well equipped the children are to move into adulthood as vital members of the human race. Notice I didn’t say ‘as vital members of the Christian community.’ We need to have kids that can be sent off to the most hostile universities, toil in the greediest work environments and yet not be the least bit intimidated by their surroundings. Furthermore, they need to be engaged in the lives of people in their culture, gracefully representing Christ’s love inside these desperate surroundings.”
That sat well with me. I think this book is going to be worth my time. (Side note: I think I could win a prize for being the World’s slowest reader. So if I am going to spend countless hours reading a book, I better get something out of it! Thus far I am all the way to page 61 and am finding this book to be very applicable.)
Which brings me back to Halloween. I remember when I was in Elementary school there were kids in my class who were not allowed to celebrate Halloween for “religious reasons”. I remember on the day of the class Halloween party they would go to another room while the rest of the students had a costume parade in the gym. I remember walking around the gym looking at all the other costumes and admiring everyone’s creativity and personal expression. I still remember one girl who was dressed up as a tube of toothpaste and was wearing a lampshade on her head. Genius! After the costume parade, we would go back to our classroom to play games and decorate cookies but the “religious reasons” kids didn’t get to come back until it was time to go home. I remember feeling bad for those kids when they came back from their undisclosed location. They had these long faces and lustful eyes as they looked at everyone’s treat bags. I felt bad for them because they got the same punishment as the kids who were misbehaving but they didn’t do anything wrong.
I don’t know if the kids who had to miss out on the Halloween party were from Christian families or if their families practiced another religion, but I know it didn’t sit well with me when I was 10 and it doesn’t sit well with me now. I don’t think that sheltering my child from encountering every possible “worldly thing” is going to prepare him to be a vital member of the human race and I don’t find much biblical basis for it either. On the other hand, I don’t think I should let him be exposed to anything and everything and leave it up to his immature mind to decide what is best. Ultimately, I think it is a balance between the two that may look very different for each individual family.
A few weeks ago, my son and I were at Goodwill looking for used children’s books when we happened upon this gem, Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson. I am a sucker for a good lyrical rhyme so I was sold on it right away. But it wasn’t just the rhythm of the book that got me, it also has a great story line about kindness and standing up for others with a magical surprise ending! I happily paid $0.75 for the Halloween book and have been reading it at bedtime every day since. The other day my son found a pint-sized broom in our yard and started flying around like a “boy witch” inviting my husband and I to join him because there is always enough room on the broom. He has been excited to help me find things that I’ve misplaced around the house and reminds me that he is like the dog/frog in the book. And just yesterday, as we were driving to the store, we spotted a witch that crashed into a tree in the neighbor’s yard and we got to share a really good laugh together. We ended up driving around the block so we could admire it again which led to a conversation about what the witch could have been doing that distracted her from seeing the tree. We finally decided that it must have been really dark outside.
I’m glad we didn’t say “no” to Halloween this year. I love playing witch vs dragon with my son every time he finds that little broom and I am definitely going to get a crashed witch to add to my yard decorations next year. But mostly, I’m thankful for resources out there that encourage me to be more intentional about parenting. Thank you Julia Donaldson, you just became one of our favorite Children’s authors and we have added all of your books to our Amazon wish list! And thank you Dr. Tim Kimmel for your powerful words that have opened my eyes to some of the everyday opportunities I have to show my son (& others) the grace that God has shown me!
Happy Halloween Friends! If you have any ways that you try to encourage kindness with your kid(s) at Halloween, please share them in the comments.
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