DETOUR: aka "the scenic route"

Have you ever been in one of those seasons of life when it seems like no matter where you turn, what you read, who you're talking to or which playlist you choose to listen to, there is a hidden message that seems to be on repeat?  I have.  And I feel like I am there again.  When this happens, I don't think it is by chance;  I believe it is God's way of giving me a message I need to hear.

I recently graduated from nursing school.  I couldn't wait to find my first job and start saving lives!  I eagerly submitted my resume to all of the jobs on my "A list" because I have always been an "A student".  After a few weeks of not hearing back from them, I started applying to jobs on my "B list"...and I still haven't heard back from any of them. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. I mean I always hear about the shortage of nurses, the job security, and the need for more healthcare workers as the Baby Boomer generation is getting older. Then I started to question if I was even capable of being a nurse. Eventually, I convinced myself that it was a horrible decision to go back to school to get my nursing degree and that I had messed up everything for my family's future.  I was beating myself up!   I didn't want to see my friends and started making excuses so I wouldn't have to go places because I didn't know what to say when people asked me "How is the job hunt going?" or "Have you tried________?".  Two weeks ago I didn't go to church because I felt so ashamed, but thankfully I joined in online (our church is based out of TX but also has live online services & campuses in FL and London).   The hidden message wasn't so hidden this time, it was loud and clear!  "God's detours are better than our direct routes...God is not as concerned with where you are going as He is with who you are becoming". Thank you Tianne Moon, you are a gifted communicator and a very faithful follower!

This not-so-hidden message was an echo of something a friend (in CA this time!) posted a few days before on Instagram.  She quoted a speaker at the Pursuit conference she was attending who said "I didn't bring you here for your expectations.  I brought you here for your transformation" (Hannah Brencher).  Then she wrote,  "This word hit me deep.  I mean, down in my bone marrow deep.  I had expectations about this season of life.  I thought that things were going to go a certain way because, well, they always do.  The formula goes like this - you work hard for your dreams, you throw yourself into them with everything you have, & then they happen.  Until they don't.  But the lessons I'm learning from the in-your-face challenges we've experienced are IRREPLACEABLE. And now I know - the Lord doesn't care about my expectations.  He only cares about my transformation." This hit me deep too!  Thank you Erin Youngen, you are a gifted photographer/blogger and a very faithful follower!

I could go on with more examples of songs that came up on Pandora (many by Keri Noble) and quotes from the books I'm reading (A Path Appears by Nicholas Kristoff & Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel) but the bottom line is that I feel like God wants to do some work in my heart right now and finding a place to work will come later.  As I continue to pray for God's guidance in this job hunt, I am beginning to feel a peace about waiting for a chance to apply to internships at my "A jobs" and allowing God to renew my heart and transform my mind while I wait.  It isn't always easy, but I am trying to enjoying the scenery as I travel on this DETOUR!

The beginning of the "heart work"...

I will be the first person to admit that I often fall short when it comes to being kind to others and showing them the same grace that God has shown me.  I live in Miami and the traffic here is HORRIBLE! The distance I would have to drive to work is actually one of the major factors that determines wether a hospital is on my "A list" or "B list".   I am quick to become angry and slow to be kind, especially when I am behind the steering wheel.  However, when my son is in the car with me I can usually keep it together because I know he is always watching me....I mean ALWAYS.  Those little eyes and ears take in every.single.thing!  I want to be more intentional about finding everyday ways to teach him kindness and show him grace.  This ultimately means I need to be kinder and show people more grace.  So I started this blog to help me reflect on my actions and to share ideas with others, especially parents who are also trying to be intentional about teaching their child(ren) to be kind.  It isn't very easy.  I fail at it daily.  Thank God for his grace!