Make it matter...this is your teachable moment!

A few weeks ago I was drinking my morning coffee with the usual splash of Christmas cheer (I use peppermint mocha creamer in my home brew year-round so this whole ‘plain red cup’ controversy is of zero interest to me) when some 'Elf on the Shelf' ideas popped up on Facebook.  I have been looking forward to the year we could start this fun tradition in our home and since I think we are finally there, I eagerly printed out a calendar and started jotting down ideas...even though it was mid-October.  After looking at hundred of ideas, I had a flashback to my first year as a teacher when I realized the power of the TEACHABLE MOMENT!!!  

The ‘teachable moment’ is the term used in the teaching biz to help you keep your cool when you’re in the middle of a really great lesson about the digestive system and a student raises their hand, or maybe just shouts out, “Why do scientists say that Pluto isn’t a planet?  My uncle told me it’s a planet.”  The ‘teachable moment’ reminds you that those little sponge-brains are always taking in new information and quite often it is when you least expect it!  So even though half of the students stopped learning about digestion way back when you said the word “bolus”, now ALL of the students are going to hear your answer to the Pluto question. After all, Pluto is now called a ‘small body’ and when you introduced the digestive system you did say something about ‘body systems’ so somehow, someway you HAVE to connect the dots between the two topics even though it isn’t on your lesson plan or unit map or whatever the term is these days.  You have their undivided attention, so MAKE IT MATTER!

As I filled up my calendar with cute elf ideas, I realized that this could be a teachable moment, or rather a teachable month!  I have 25 days to be an intentional parent and spread KINDNESS.  As I continued to do more research, I realized that this is not my original idea:(  There are actually many families and classrooms who have Kindness Elves that visit during the holidays and encourage kindness.  

So this is a compilation of ideas for your family to use this year whether your elf sits on a shelf, is kind, or is actually a Christmas Angel.  I think we can all agree that KINDNESS is universal!  Some of these ideas are borrowed, some are modified, and a few are original...or so I think.  I’ve also tried to use these activities to encourage family time, learning, creativity, leadership and giving to others...because these are all great qualities of a kind kid.  I’d love to hear your ideas too...you could be my first comment! Kits (with most of the supplies you see here) and downloads (of the daily elf messages and such) are available in my Etsy shop if you’re interested in saving a little time:)

1.) Instead of using intimidation to get kids to be kind this month with the threat of Santa's naughty/nice list, use your elf to recognize all of the good things they've done this year! I learned very early on in my career as a teacher that recognition is much more powerful than intimidation:)

I'm so proud of all that you have accomplished this year!  You've learned new
things, been kind to others, made new friends, and helped your family members.
Sure, every now and then you've had bad day but remember that you can always
do something to make it better.  No act of KINDNESS is ever too small! I know you
know how to be nice so I'm going to give you an extra kindness challenge every day
from now until Christmas to help you spread joy to those around you.
Let's start by picking up the snowflakes that fell out of my envelope.
How many did you find?  Thank you:)

2.) Help kids brainstorm what it really means to be kind with a Christmas Kindness word search.  (Make your own here at Discovery Education ) 

Help me find all of the words that relate to KINDNESS  in this puzzle...please:)

3.) Help kids get focused on kindness by having them look for other people who are doing nice things. Encourage them to recognize the act of kindness with a sticker or positive words.

Be on the lookout for KINDNESS today!  If you spot a friend or
family member being extra nice, give them a sticker:)

4.) A little bit of change can go a long way...pun intended! Use this idea to encourage long-term goals as well as giving to others.

Feed my pet pig with your spare CHANGE.  When he gets full, donate
the money to a local charity, church, or friend in need:)

5.) Elves love sticky hands! Use this as a visual reminder that it is important to help each other out or ‘lend a hand’.

It's Lend a Hand Day!  Did you know that's another way to say
"help someone out"?  Look for ways to help others today.
I even brought you an extra hand since you're going to be
busy lending yours to other people:)

6.) Use this fun idea to remind kind kids to be intentional about showing or telling family members that they are loved.

I mustache you a question, have you said "I love you" to someone today?
Look for special ways to show or tell your family members that you love them today.

7.) Sometimes saying "I'm sorry" can become very empty. By encouraging your child to help find a way to fix the problem, you can promote genuine kindness & thinking about the needs of others.

Oops!  Sometimes accidents happen.  If you make a mistake today
remember to say "I'm sorry!" and try to find a way to help fix it.

8.) A hug is something you give and receive! Encourage kind kids to spread kindness through hugs today.

Happy Hug Day!
A hug is a way to show someone that you care about them.  Give lots of hugs today.
Here are some special elf hugs to get the sweetness started.

9.) Encourage kind kids to do their best by using your elf as an example. You know what they say, monkey see monkey do!

Remember to give EVERYTHING  your very best effort today:)

10.) Everyone loves a good game of hide and seek!  Use this idea to encourage sharing with others.

I hid 6 candy canes in the kitchen, can you find all of them?
Make sure to share them with your friends and neighbors today:)

11.) I love this classic elf on the beach scene. He just looks so uncomfortably cute sitting there in his stocking cap. Use this as a way to encourage kind kids to try something new and make new friends.

Today is a great day to try something new!  See, I'm trying sand
instead of snow. Try to make a new friend while you're at it:)

12.) Miniature Christmas lights! I couldn't help myself. Another adorable way to encourage kind kids to help others.

Help a friend day!  Look for ways to hep your friends today.
Say, could you please help me finish decorating my Christmas tree?

13.) It's important to say thank you! Sometimes we think it but we forget to say it. Use your elf to remind kind kids to say thank you. 

Thank you for being my friend!  Decorate these cards and write a note inside
to say "thank you" to someone who has done something nice for you:)

14.) Sometimes all we need is a little bit of encouragement to keep us from giving up. Encourage kind kids to be an encouragement to others!

Sometimes things are hard to finish...like this puzzle!
Look for ways to encourage your friends and family members if they're
having a hard time today.  You could say "I know you can do it!"
or "I have faith in you!"

15.) As Christmas gets closer, even kind kids are thinking about all the presents they hope to get. Use this idea to encourage them to give the gift of kind words to other people.

10 more days until Christmas!!! Give at least 10 compliments today.
Here are some ideas "You're a great friend/mom/dad!",
"You're really good at___!" & "I really enjoy doing ___with you!"

16.) Use this idea to encourage kind kids to focus on giving rather then receiving. Suggested ideas: local Angel Tree, Toys for Tots, baking cookies for a neighbor, etc.

The gift of GIVING is a wonderful BLESSING!
I know you know someone who needs a special gift this year:)

17.) Encourage kind kids to be leaders by inviting other kids to play with them. Help them out by giving them a new game that requires 2 or more people to play.

Invite someone new to play with you today:)

18.) Smile...enough said:)

Smile...you're special:)
Smile at people today and remind them that they are special too!

19.) Instead of simply suggesting a family movie night, use this idea to encourage kind kids to plan the movie night for their family. Include tickets so they can decorate them (creativity) and formally invite everyone to the movie (leadership). Help them plan what time the movie should start & what to have for snack during the movie (needs of others). Options: Redbox, Netflix, ABC Family's 25 days of Christmas.

Invite your family members to watch a movie with you today!
I brought tickets for you to decorate and give to each of them.
Make sure to tell them what time the movie is starting...and don't forget the snacks!

20.) Encourage kind kids to help out around the house...even if they aren’t responsible for the mess.

5 more days until Christmas!
 Let's see if you can pick up 5 things around the house today...even if they aren't yours:)

21.) A kind kid thinks about the needs of others. Not just those they can see, but those that live very far away. Encourage your kids to learn about how Christmas is celebrated in other countries.  Suggestion: Consider using this as an opportunity to begin sponsoring a child in need through Compassion International, Save the Children or World Vision.

Sharpen your mind (and your pencil) today!
Learn about how Christmas is celebrated in another country.
You can also study how to say "Hello" and "Merry Christmas" in their
language so you can share global KINDNESS:)

22.) I just couldn't pass up these high-five sticky notes. Spread double the kindness with the visual image of a high-five along with the positive message that kind kids write on the sticky note.

Words are powerful!  Write positive messages on these high-fives
and hide them around your neighborhood.  Here are a few ideas to get your started:
"You're important!" & "You are loved!"

23.) This idea is a great way to get kind kids thinking about others. They will probably want to keep the special money but giving it away opens up an opportunity to discuss the fact that sometimes others may need something more than we do.  (Tutorial: How to fold dollar bill into a heart.)

Pay it forward!
Give this special money to someone you thing might need it.

24.) Use this idea to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.  Pose the elf with your family's favorite holiday book and a few other toys to encourage kind kids to share the gift of reading with others. Our current favorite is What is Christmas? by Michelle Medlock Adams. For an older/larger crowd, read the Christmas story from the Bible while kids dress in costume and act it out (this is one of my favorite childhood memories!)

This is one of my favorite books!  I love reading but my favorite thing about
a good book is SHARING it with others.  Read a book with someone today:)

25.) Most families have their elf/angel depart on Christmas Eve.  One final play on words to remind your kids to ‘sprinkle kindness everywhere’.  Suggestions: If your family leaves milk & cookies out for Santa, you can spread sprinkles on the cookie plate and trace the word ‘BYE” in the sprinkles.  You could also use sprinkles to make an elf angel (like a snow angel) or you could sprinkle them on a special Christmas morning breakfast.  Some families also bake a birthday cake for Jesus so it would be fun to to leave the sprinkles out next to the cake supplies and use them to decorate the birthday cake:)  Be creative & Have Fun!  Merry Christmas!

Remember...Sprinkle KINDNESS everywhere you go:)  I'll be back next year!

To Halloween, or not to Halloween: that is the question

I know that some Christian families have very strong convictions about celebrating a so-called “pagan” holiday.  I do not.  I have always enjoyed Halloween and do not personally associate it with anything evil despite what some may say.  

As I mentioned in my last post (and will probably mention in many future posts), I am currently reading Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.  A friend of mine recommended it a few years ago but at the time my munchkin was just a baby so I didn’t feel the need to read parenting books unless they were about nursing or sleeping. But now my munchkin is three.  He has his own ideas about what he should/should not be doing at any given moment during the day and is very vocal (and quite convincing) when he expresses these opinions.  A few weeks back, he decided that he was not going to preschool...anymore!  And he must have decided that if we MADE him go to preschool he was going to find his own way of paying us back...with dirty laundry.  It started out slowly with a few tears and an occasional pants wetting but quickly crescendoed to a 20 minute face-off between the two of us at morning drop-off where I tried every “good parenting” trick I could think of until I finally caved in and bribed him with a new set of Legos.  I drove home in tears thinking surely I had ruined my child FOREVER.   Thankfully, one of my best friends happened to be staying with us for the week (which my very wise mother later pointed out could probably explain his out-of-nowhere resistance to go to preschool while mommy was having fun at the beach with her bestie) and when I came home hysterical she gifted me some very strong words of encouragement.  She reminded me that there is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child...we all need God’s grace! Later that day, while I was getting a heavenly massage that my bestie treated me to, I remembered the Graced Based Parenting book and decided that maybe it was time to add some new weapons to my “good parenting” arsenal.  So I went home and ordered it along with a few of the other “people who bought this also bought...” books that I’d heard about from friends and parenting experts.  

By the time all of my new parenting books arrived, my munchkin was back to his preschool-loving self whom I often refer to as the “morning welcoming crew” because he insists on hugging his friends just as a parent is trying to tie their shoe or finish putting their hair in a ponytail.  Not feeling as desperate for parenting advice, I opened the box of parenting books and started to wonder if this Grace Based Parenting book was going to be another fluffy book that didn’t give me any practical advice or application.  But my doubts were quickly answered.  By page 9 I was searching for my highlighter:

“The real test of a parenting model is how well equipped the children are to move into adulthood as vital members of the human race.  Notice I didn’t say ‘as vital members of the Christian community.’ We need to have kids that can be sent off to the most hostile universities, toil in the greediest work environments and yet not be the least bit intimidated by their surroundings.  Furthermore, they need to be engaged in the lives of people in their culture, gracefully representing Christ’s love inside these desperate surroundings.”

That sat well with me.  I think this book is going to be worth my time.  (Side note: I think I could win a prize for being the World’s slowest reader. So if I am going to spend countless hours reading a book, I better get something out of it!  Thus far I am all the way to page 61 and am finding this book to be very applicable.)

Which brings me back to Halloween.  I remember when I was in Elementary school there were kids in my class who were not allowed to celebrate Halloween for “religious reasons”.  I remember on the day of the class Halloween party they would go to another room while the rest of the students had a costume parade in the gym.  I remember walking around the gym looking at all the other costumes and admiring everyone’s creativity and personal expression.  I still remember one girl who was dressed up as a tube of toothpaste and was wearing a lampshade on her head.  Genius!  After the costume parade, we would go back to our classroom to play games and decorate cookies but the “religious reasons” kids didn’t get to come back until it was time to go home.  I remember feeling bad for those kids when they came back from their undisclosed location.  They had these long faces and lustful eyes as they looked at everyone’s treat bags.  I felt bad for them because they got the same punishment as the kids who were misbehaving but they didn’t do anything wrong.  

I don’t know if the kids who had to miss out on the Halloween party were from Christian families or if their families practiced another religion, but I know it didn’t sit well with me when I was 10 and it doesn’t sit well with me now.  I don’t think that sheltering my child from encountering every possible “worldly thing” is going to prepare him to be a vital member of the human race and I don’t find much biblical basis for it either.  On the other hand, I don’t think I should let him be exposed to anything and everything and leave it up to his immature mind to decide what is best.  Ultimately, I think it is a balance between the two that may look very different for each individual family.

A few weeks ago, my son and I were at Goodwill looking for used children’s books when we happened upon this gem, Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson.  I am a sucker for a good lyrical rhyme so I was sold on it right away.  But it wasn’t just the rhythm of the book that got me, it also has a great story line about kindness and standing up for others with a magical surprise ending!  I happily paid $0.75 for the Halloween book and have been reading it at bedtime every day since.  The other day my son found a pint-sized broom in our yard and started flying around like a “boy witch” inviting my husband and I to join him because there is always enough room on the broom.  He has been excited to help me find things that I’ve misplaced around the house and reminds me that he is like the dog/frog in the book.  And just yesterday, as we were driving to the store, we spotted a witch that crashed into a tree in the neighbor’s yard and we got to share a really good laugh together.  We ended up driving around the block so we could admire it again which led to a conversation about what the witch could have been doing that distracted her from seeing the tree.  We finally decided that it must have been really dark outside.

I’m glad we didn’t say “no” to Halloween this year.  I love playing witch vs dragon with my son every time he finds that little broom and I am definitely going to get a crashed witch to add to my yard decorations next year.  But mostly, I’m thankful for resources out there that encourage me to be more intentional about parenting.  Thank you Julia Donaldson, you just became one of our favorite Children’s authors and we have added all of your books to our Amazon wish list!  And thank you Dr. Tim Kimmel for your powerful words that have opened my eyes to some of the everyday opportunities I have to show my son (& others) the grace that God has shown me!

Happy Halloween Friends!  If you have any ways that you try to encourage kindness with your kid(s) at Halloween, please share them in the comments. 

DETOUR: aka "the scenic route"

Have you ever been in one of those seasons of life when it seems like no matter where you turn, what you read, who you're talking to or which playlist you choose to listen to, there is a hidden message that seems to be on repeat?  I have.  And I feel like I am there again.  When this happens, I don't think it is by chance;  I believe it is God's way of giving me a message I need to hear.

I recently graduated from nursing school.  I couldn't wait to find my first job and start saving lives!  I eagerly submitted my resume to all of the jobs on my "A list" because I have always been an "A student".  After a few weeks of not hearing back from them, I started applying to jobs on my "B list"...and I still haven't heard back from any of them. I began to wonder if something was wrong with me. I mean I always hear about the shortage of nurses, the job security, and the need for more healthcare workers as the Baby Boomer generation is getting older. Then I started to question if I was even capable of being a nurse. Eventually, I convinced myself that it was a horrible decision to go back to school to get my nursing degree and that I had messed up everything for my family's future.  I was beating myself up!   I didn't want to see my friends and started making excuses so I wouldn't have to go places because I didn't know what to say when people asked me "How is the job hunt going?" or "Have you tried________?".  Two weeks ago I didn't go to church because I felt so ashamed, but thankfully I joined in online (our church is based out of TX but also has live online services & campuses in FL and London).   The hidden message wasn't so hidden this time, it was loud and clear!  "God's detours are better than our direct routes...God is not as concerned with where you are going as He is with who you are becoming". Thank you Tianne Moon, you are a gifted communicator and a very faithful follower!

This not-so-hidden message was an echo of something a friend (in CA this time!) posted a few days before on Instagram.  She quoted a speaker at the Pursuit conference she was attending who said "I didn't bring you here for your expectations.  I brought you here for your transformation" (Hannah Brencher).  Then she wrote,  "This word hit me deep.  I mean, down in my bone marrow deep.  I had expectations about this season of life.  I thought that things were going to go a certain way because, well, they always do.  The formula goes like this - you work hard for your dreams, you throw yourself into them with everything you have, & then they happen.  Until they don't.  But the lessons I'm learning from the in-your-face challenges we've experienced are IRREPLACEABLE. And now I know - the Lord doesn't care about my expectations.  He only cares about my transformation." This hit me deep too!  Thank you Erin Youngen, you are a gifted photographer/blogger and a very faithful follower!

I could go on with more examples of songs that came up on Pandora (many by Keri Noble) and quotes from the books I'm reading (A Path Appears by Nicholas Kristoff & Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel) but the bottom line is that I feel like God wants to do some work in my heart right now and finding a place to work will come later.  As I continue to pray for God's guidance in this job hunt, I am beginning to feel a peace about waiting for a chance to apply to internships at my "A jobs" and allowing God to renew my heart and transform my mind while I wait.  It isn't always easy, but I am trying to enjoying the scenery as I travel on this DETOUR!

The beginning of the "heart work"...

I will be the first person to admit that I often fall short when it comes to being kind to others and showing them the same grace that God has shown me.  I live in Miami and the traffic here is HORRIBLE! The distance I would have to drive to work is actually one of the major factors that determines wether a hospital is on my "A list" or "B list".   I am quick to become angry and slow to be kind, especially when I am behind the steering wheel.  However, when my son is in the car with me I can usually keep it together because I know he is always watching me....I mean ALWAYS.  Those little eyes and ears take in every.single.thing!  I want to be more intentional about finding everyday ways to teach him kindness and show him grace.  This ultimately means I need to be kinder and show people more grace.  So I started this blog to help me reflect on my actions and to share ideas with others, especially parents who are also trying to be intentional about teaching their child(ren) to be kind.  It isn't very easy.  I fail at it daily.  Thank God for his grace!